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10/22/07    The Vicious Circle of Stress and How It Ages Us

09/26/07    The 7 Myths About Aging and How to Overcome Them

08/20/07    Our Beauty Options to Prevent Aging

06/24/07    Finding Life Balance: The New Holy Grail










The Vicious Circle of Stress and How It Ages Us

10/22/07

Often when we do too much, or worry about the future, or feel pressured, or question the meaning in our lives, or get afraid and angry, or break up with a loved one, we start to feel overwhelmed. Soon we get a cold or the flu or indigestion. So, we go to the doctor and she gives us a pill and since we feel better we continue to do too much, worry about the future, feel pressured question the meaning in our lives and harm our relationships… and we get sick again.  This time it might be more serious: our blood pressure, cholesterol and sugar levels go up and we might even get depressed. So, we go back to the doctor, and she gives us a stronger medicine which makes us feel better. Consequently, we repeat the same self destructive behaviors and continue to get sick. However this time the disease is called a stroke, or diabetes, or cancer.  This negative cycle can continue for many, many years.  But one day the cycle stops and so do our hearts.

If only we had known that by worrying, getting angry, or doing too much we activated what is known as the “stress response”.  If only we would have known this non specific reaction to stress creates an excess of adrenaline, or the “fight or flight” response whose purpose is to keep us in a state of alertness and tension. If only our doctors would have explained to us about the death hormone, cortisol, that wreaks havoc on our bodies and minds. If only we had been given alternatives to the way we dealt with the inevitability of stress, we would have done things differently. Or would we?

Although we do not want to avoid stress completely because it is a condition of life itself, we need to detect when it reaches dangerous levels in our body and how to prevent it from harming us.

The following are seven sure fire ways to stay in control and not let stress take over our lives and health.

1.   Give a positive meaning to everything that happens to you.  Nothing means anything until you give it a meaning.  It is the meaning, NOT the event, that causes your body to secrete harmful hormones (cortisol and adrenaline) If you decided to give a positive meaning to everything that happened to you, 90% of stress would be eliminated.

2.  Choose your fights intelligently: Very few things in life are worth fighting over.  Save your stress energy up for an emergency when you will really need it.  Don’t waste it on someone who cuts in line or cuts you off on the freeway.  Ask yourself, if it’s worth a fight and if anything will change.  If the answer is in the negative, then why get your adrenaline going to prepare for a fight?  At the same time, in some cases the “flight” might be more stressful.  So, state your need, set your boundary and be on your way.

3.     Listen to your body and be kind to yourself.  We all have different signals that tell us we are reaching our breaking point.  For some it is a headache, others indigestion, others insomnia. These are wake up calls for you to  curtail whatever it is that is causing you stress. Meanwhile, do something you like, watch a funny movie, take a walk on the beach, make love more often. It’s Ok to miss an aerobic class or the cocktail party or visit your in-laws.  Everything will wait but your health.

4.    Respect your individual rhythm.  Some people not only can but need to do many things at the same time.  They thrive on stress.  Others need to take their time and smell the roses on the way.  Know yourself and respect your own rhythm.  Don’t insist on dancing salsa when you are a tango person. If the turtle used the rabbit’s pace it would kill him and vice versa. Think about times when things have flowed for you.  What were you doing? How did you feel?  And now remember when you were pushing yourself to do too much or too little?  How did you feel?

5.    Don’t worry! Very few things are worth getting sick over.  Most of the time we create scenarios in our mind that never come into fruition. Worrying about something that is yet to happen is like watching TV.  It pulls you in and can entertain you for hours, days, and years. If you are always worrying about what you don’t want to happen, how will you make room for what you do want to happen?  The antithesis of worry is Trust.  You can’t trust and worry at he same time. It’s your choice: worry and stress or trust and peace!

6.   Update your coping skills.  As you change and your life changes with you, what worked when you were twenty might not when you are forty and less when you are sixty.  Maybe it’s time to learn to meditate or exercise less or travel or simplify your life.

7.    Invest in your health plan.  Exercise moderately, eat nutritious small meals five times a day, drink 8 glasses of water every day, sleep at least 7 hours, create play and fun time, and stop any habits that you know will eventually create health stress on your body.

And after all is said and done the most important advice is to know thy self.  What is a stressor (the cause of stress) for me, can be the elixir of life for you.  And once you know what makes you happy and what makes you sad, what causes you to want to flee or fight or perpetuates peace and bliss, follow your individual star.  Don’t let anyone else tell you how you should be or how you should react.  By being yourself, by being congruent to your individual needs and style, you will have no need for the stress response and you will have given yourself the greatest gift of all…that of health and life.

 


The 7 Myths About Aging and How to Overcome Them

09//26/07

Life has been compared to a play with three acts.  Historically, the first act was comprised of the lessons needed to become autonomous and independent. In the second act we learned to be interdependent, form our own families and choose a career. The purpose of the third and last act was to wait graciously and passively for the curtain to go down.

Not anymore. Baby boomers have discovered that the third act can be the most exciting, adventurous, fun-filled and passionate of all. The only waiting they are doing is to purchase their Harley Davidson bikes or to get on airplanes to exotic destinations.

No longer do they worry about raising children, pleasing others or proving themselves in their careers! These strong men and women are utilizing the lessons learned from the first two acts to create a masterpiece out of every stage of life and you can, too. Here are seven myths about aging and what you can do to dispel them and create a masterpiece of every stage of life.

1.    As we get older, our mind degenerates.
What we previously took to be the inevitable result of aging, such as cancer, heart attacks, hypertension and Alzheimer’s disease are mostly due to poor lifestyle choices and habits. This fact puts us in control. We have the power to use physical exercise to reduce stress, nourish brain cells, improve blood flow to the brain, lower blood pressure and decrease depression- just to name a few benefits.

In addition, our brains can change at any age. Like a muscle, the more use it gets, the stronger it becomes. The more we think, the bigger our brains become and the better they work. Mental exercises such as multiple associations, using the computer, reading the newspaper, doing board games or crossword puzzles and learning new and different tasks can improve our mental clarity and memory. The Mediterranean diet high in fruit, vegetables, cereals, fish, olive oil and a glass of wine daily has been linked to a lower risk for Alzheimer’s disease, diabetes and stroke.

2. Life balance only works in theory, not in real life. 
You can have life balance. When I say balance, I am referring to our physical, emotional, mental and spiritual health. Emotionally, we need to connect with others, share our thoughts and fears, give and receive, and laugh. Loneliness leads to depression and often to suicide. Physically, we need to eat more organic vegetables and fruits and less processed and sugary foods, more mono-saturated fats found in nuts and raw seeds and less trans fats used in crackers and cakes, more wild caught fish, such as halibut and salmon and less red meat; move more and watch less television. Mentally we should challenge our brains by doing something different like learning a new language and engaging less in what we already know. Spiritually, we need to create a peaceful inner space by meditating more and complaining less. We can re-discover religion and open our minds to new kinds of spirituality.

3. We don’t have any choices when it comes to aging.
We do have choices and the choices we make today will mean the difference tomorrow between merely surviving or thriving. To be able to choose means we have to live consciously, aware of our choices. It means to do our own homework and not blindly do what others prescribe or what works for them. Every choice we make creates a domino effect through our body and mind. For example overeating can trigger serious health risks like high blood pressure, stroke, and diabetes. It not only diminishes our energy, it can also erode our joie de vivre, self-confidence, relationships and general outlook on life.

4. It’s the big decisions that impact our lives.
How we age is about consistent, small decisions that we make daily. It’s about converting good, conscious decisions into unconscious daily habits. It’s our habits, not genetic defects or the years lived, that catch up with us over time. You already know the examples, but sometimes we need to be reminded: flossing and brushing our teeth after meals will assure us of keeping our teeth; going to sleep and waking up the same time every day will result feeling refreshed the next day; meditating (praying, giving thanks, thinking of nothing) for 10 minutes upon arising will set up our day to be peaceful and joyful. If we stretch during the day, every day, we will have the flexibility that keeps us limber. By eating small, healthy meals five times a day, we will maintain our weight and sugar levels. By not letting the small stuff upset us, we will relieve stress. These are just a few examples of small, easy, decisions that could add twenty quality years to your life.

5. It’s too late to reverse our biological age.
The truth is, it’s never too late to reverse our biological age. We have two ages: the biological and the chronological. The difference between genetic aging and biological aging is that we have no control over the former and complete control over the later. We can remake ourselves and recharge our lives at any age, but the earlier we begin, the healthier and longer our life span will be. For example, numerous studies have proven that exercise and especially lifting light weights, even for people in their eighties and nineties, greatly enhances their balance and prevents falls from osteoporosis. 

6. We have no control over the quality or length of our lives. 
Although, we are genetically programmed to live a certain amount of years, there are certain things we can do to prolong our lives, as well as things we can do to shorten them. In other words, genetics may dictate how long we will live, but our lifestyle habits permit us to reach that age or die sooner. In a perfect world, where there is no contamination, stress, temptation to eat processed foods, and where there is only love and peace, we could possibly live to be 120 years old.

7. Our thoughts are only thoughts and have no affect on our bodies.
Every single thought we put into our bodies will show up later in life: we can finish a marathon, remember where we put our keys, have a toned body, learn a foreign language and enjoy sex at any age. Depending on your choices, you will manifest health or disease, joy or depression beauty or plainness, enthusiasm or bitterness. So here is your opportunity to remind yourself of principles one through six, and recommit to them over and over again.

The myth of age is one of human impotency, yet nothing could be further than the truth.  The truth lies in our will. We can take responsibility for the third act of our lives by gathering within ourselves the spirit of life, and when the curtain does go down, we will be remembered for this, our greatest performance of all!



Our Beauty Options to Prevent Aging

08/20/07

Maybe we don’t have to choose between beauty and substance. Maybe we can be grateful for being alive and look good, too! What a concept! After all, it becomes easier and less risky every day. Just look at all the options that exist today, from lifting our faces and breasts to reshaping our feet and even our vaginas.

Beyond Plastic Surgery

There is plastic surgery, wrinkle removal, weight loss surgery, umbilicoplasty, tummy tuck, thermage, skin resurfacing, sclerotherapy, scar revision, rhinoplasty, restylane, reconstructive surgery, cosmetic foot surgery, vaginal reconstruction, power assisted lipoplasty, otoplasty, nipple augmentation, micropigmentation, liposuction, lip augmentation, laser skin resurfacing, laser hair removal, hylaform, hand surgery, hair transplantation, forehead lift, fillers, fat injection, facelift, eyelid surgery, endermologie, deepmicrodermabrasion, collagen injection, chin augmentation, chemical peel, brow lift, breast reduction, breast lift, breast implants, breast enhancements, botox, sculptra, threadlifts, body lifts, body implants, blepharoplasty and autologous fat implants. 

Aging Research

Without a doubt, if you don’t like it, you can fix it! More than one million people had botox and chemical peels last year; 461,000 had Restylane and Hylaform injections; 858,000 had microdermabrasion. Thanks to all these new fillers, we live in a brave new world, where we might never have to have wrinkles, sagging jowls, or crows feet...ever.

Botox as a Prestige Symbol

According to Vogue magazine, “With the stigma gone, and replaced with excitement about these new in and out procedures to look younger, men and women are showing up everywhere, proud of their black and blue telltale signs.” In fact, instead of being ashamed, people don’t mind looking scary and happily parade around town with bruising or swelling.

The Vogue article on the new attitude towards reversing aging continues, “In the rush to look better, men and women don’t mind going out looking like hell...there are bruised, swollen, and laser-burned faces turning up at dinner parties, at the chicest restaurants and in corporate boardrooms...a few pinpricks are as normal on the Upper East Side as a Maltese...as they are in Beverly Hills…Going to a convention or a party bleeding from botox injections is a small price to pay for the fountain of youth, and no more shocking than dark roots used to be!”

Popular Anti Aging “Miracles” Known as “Lunchtime Procedures”

Botox:  By paralyzing the muscles around the forehead, eyes and mouth, botulism injections make wrinkles disappear for about six months. They hurt a lot, but one of my satisfied friends said that the inventor deserved the Nobel Prize. You will be charged by sections of your face, and it costs from $200 to $1,000, depending on who does it and how many sections you have injected.
Collagen:  Injections of this protein are perfect for those tiny wrinkles around your mouth and nose, as they plump them up. They are even more painful than botox and cost about $400. Their effect lasts about the same as botox, yet many say that it is not as effective. Be careful, because you could have an allergic response.
Restylane: Used in Europe for decades, now given in the United States to diminish wrinkles and imperfections in skin, it costs between $1,000 and $2,000. It causes redness and takes a couple of weeks for the swelling to go down. Make sure that your provider is knowledgeable and experienced, because the results are more permanent than those of botox or collagen.
Sculptra: The newest miracle is said to be better than botox and to last longer than collagen. It is a liquid facelift, used originally for AIDS patients with facial wasting. A technique called fanning is used, where a plastic surgeon makes an incision on your face and distributes poly-l-lactic acid into your face.
Autologous Fat Implants: These implants minimize the appearance of wrinkles and creases. Fat is taken from where you don’t want it (butt, abdomen) and injected into your face to make it look fuller or to give you cheekbones. Implants also can be done in conjunction with other procedures. The procedure is said to be permanent and low risk.
Dermalogen: This injection gives you the fullness of lips you lose as you age. It costs $500 to $700 a syringe plus $200 a year for storage fees.
Therma Cool: This radio frequency device is said to combat the beginning stages of sagging and to maintain brilliancy.
Derma Peel: Vacuum pressure moves microscopic abrasive crystals over the surface of the skin to make your skin look younger and softer. Each session costs about $150.00 and the changes are not dramatic.
Lipostructure: Fat injections can be used to highlight the lips, cheekbones and jaw line and to improve deep lines around the mouth.
Facial Liposuction: Fat is removed by using a small suction cannula. The incisions are placed inside the nose, on the corner of the mouth and under the chin. Make sure you have a good surgeon because you can usually see the incisions.
Mesotherapy: The new alternative to plastic surgery dramatically reduces cellulite and reshapes those infamous problem areas. Up to five hundred tiny pricks during a thirty- to sixty-minute stay liquefy fat in the body. Proponents swear they lose a dress size after three sessions. Ten sessions are suggested. While the procedure has been practiced widely in Europe for years, mesotherapy is now available in the United States from a few highly trained and specialized plastic surgeons and trained mesotherapists.
Vein Implants: Bet you haven’t heard of this one: what makes for ugly varicose veins in our legs is removed and implanted beneath a facial wrinkle or laugh line. The veins are almost pure collagen and last twenty years. Good news: it takes about thirty minutes and leaves no scares. Bad news: it costs about $2,000.
Polaris: radio frequency and use of laser at a lower frequency is said to diminish wrinkles and help skin laxity.

More Invasive and Time-Consuming Anti Aging “Miracles”

Featherlift: This non-surgical facelift using Aptos threads is an innovative new cosmetic procedure that gives lift to the face with tiny monofilament threads. The effects of the treatment continue to improve over several months as the collagen in the skin collects around the newly placed Russian threads. The advantage is that there are no scars; no scalpel and general anesthesia is unnecessary.  Usually costs under $5.000, half the cost of a conventional face lift.  However, this procedure is recommended for patients between the ages of 30 and 45 yrs.
Threadlift™: This revolutionary, non-surgical, non-invasive facelift procedure uses fine surgical threads to lift the droopy areas of the brow, cheeks, jowls and neck.
Facelift: When you are older or if you haven’t taken care of your skin, a classic facelift may be the best way to go. Skin is pulled with incisions made behind the ears and/or the forehead. Remember, you can and probably should complement your facelift with some of the fillers previously mentioned.  The price ranges between $5,000 and $60,000, depending on what you need done, who your surgeon is, and where you live.
Blepharoplasty (Eyelid Surgery): Looking permanently tired can give others the impression that you’re miserable or having troubles. Having the problem areas around your eyes treated can make a dramatic difference. The surgery is usually performed in the doctor’s office and often with only oral sedation. You can do uppers or lowers or both.  Uppers or lowers usually cost about $2,500.  Double for both.

Cosmetic Surgery for the Body

Titan Procedure: By using an infrared light source with wavelength filtering, this procedure has been touted lately for treating lax and redundant skin throughout the body, including the abdomen, thighs, underarms and even hands. It is also used to tone, lift and tighten skin on the face, neck and other parts of body. Consider this a non-surgical tummy-tuck, arm lift or thigh lift. No down time or pain medication is needed and price depends on the area or areas you choose.
Body Thermage: A similar procedure that has been very effective for the excess and lax body skin is the Body Thermage procedure, made popular by many newscasts over the past few months. Both procedures stimulate long-term collagen rebuilding. There is no pain, no anesthesia, and lasts for 6months to 2 years.  The price range is from $1,500-$3,500.
Arm Liposuction: If you are of normal weight and can’t get rid of those kimono arms, this is perfect for you. However, it’s expensive (about $2,500) and can take up to four hours. The good news is that its effects are permanent.
Laser Therapy: Small laser pulses close the blood vessels that cause varicose veins.
Subcision: This procedure, done under local anesthesia, breaks up cellulite with a sharp, knifelike needle to flatten and smooth skin. Healing takes about a month, and you must wear elastic tights to prevent bleeding.
Liposuction: This proven method produces permanent spot reduction and contour improvement in areas affected by excess fatty deposits. Life takes its toll over time, in places we never expected. I found an insurance company that is called M-Land Financial. They offer loans for this procedure.  This is an interesting concept that I saw while doing my research, but I cannot vouch for them. 
Breast Augmentation: You can have the sexy, curvaceous figure you’ve been dreaming about. Breast augmentation surgery is a fantastic way to improve the proportions of your figure and boost your self-confidence. The cost ranges between $3,000-$9,000.

Abdominoplasty (Tummy Tuck): When it comes to your stomach, do you desire the appearance you had before your children were born or before you lost all that weight? You can have that flat tummy back! By calling it a tummy tuck, don’t get the impression that it is painless or easy, because it isn’t.
Take your time when choosing your surgeon. If you have seen his/her work, that always helps. Make sure that your surgeon is board certified and ask to meet some of his/her patients.  Be prepared to convalesce for at least two weeks, sometimes up to two months, depending on the surgery.

Don’t Forget Your Smile

Laser Whitening: Whitening is done in your doctor’s office and costs about $600. It really works!
Bonding: A clay-like material is sculpted onto your teeth to repair chips or close gaps. It can last up to ten years and costs between $100 and $300.
Veneers: Made out of porcelain, veneers are applied over your teeth; you choose the color. They cost about $1000 per tooth but last for over ten years and are stain proof.

Prevent Aging with These Almost Free Secrets

Witch hazel tightens your skin and shrinks pores: apply to clean, dry skin with a cotton ball.
Use drug store eye shadows to camouflage dark circles: add yellow eye shadow to your foundation and pat around eyes.
A small amount of beige eye shadow on the center of your eyelids makes your eyes look bigger. Put on top of your regular eye shadow and then blend in.
Take a cough drop containing menthol or eucalyptus because it will end your food cravings...and give you good breath.
Regular exercise because nothing, absolutely nothing, keeps your looks and enhances your beauty more than simple, regular exercise! Walk, bike, swim, dance…do anything you enjoy.
Drink at least a gallon of water a day for moist skin.
A beautiful, responsive smile and a positive attitude are always appealing.
Knowledge of what is going on in the world makes you intriguing.
Being more interested than interesting makes YOU seem irresistible.


Finding Life Balance: The New Holy Grail

06/24/07

Finding balance in our lives is the new Holy Grail.  As the Holy Grail symbolized the attainment of happiness, so is the reason we search for Holy Balance.  If only we weren’t so busy with deadlines and projects, we would be able to offer our loved ones the quality time they so deserve; if only we didn’t have to work over time we would have the energy to exercise and lose weight;  if only we didn’t have three mortgages we could find peace and get a good night’s sleep. If only….if only….we could find the illusive balance.

The definition of balance, according to the Encarta encyclopedia, is a state in which a body or object remains reasonably steady in a particular position while resting on a base that is narrow or small relative to its other dimensions. So, the secret to balance is in identifying the narrow base that permits us to remain in equilibrium. If the base is the children, or work, or a spouse, or religion or community or recreation,  there will always be imbalance because something will be missing and we might feel alone, unbalanced even fearful.  So what is the answer?  I believe if we support our life decisions on values, balance will become the natural consequence.

Values are what you esteem, what you give worth to, and these are the things that should form our base and determine where we spend our time, money and energy.

How to use values as a means for achieving balance:

1.  Understand that finding balance is an individual process.  Only you know what is most important to you. A way to discover this is by visualizing your own funeral and what you would want others to say about you, or imagining you had a year to live and what you would do in that last year.
Write down your long term goals in a mission statement, which documents your perception of your purpose in life.  To help you write a mission statement, I recommend Steven Covey’s classic “The Seven Habits of Highly Effectove People.”
 
2. Define what is important to you. This work takes a lot of time and you might have other more, “urgent” things to do that can’t wait like that report for your new client or that ballet recital for your child, but you must make time to define what it is that gives meaning to your own life. For example, one of the things that give meaning to my life is being an example of congruence and honesty to my three daughters.

3. Be honest with yourself. Ask yourself if you are truly willing to give up your uneven focus, be it your profession, children, love, or even excuses for not achieving equilibrium. For example, although you say you would like to be balanced maybe you are staying at work longer to avoid going home, or perhaps you really enjoy the drama or the rush of being under pressure. If this is the case, it is important to fix the problem before trying to achieve balance.

4.  Notice where you are spending your time, energy and thoughts. Ask yourself if they will lead to your achieving your long-term goals. Sometimes, things like preparing, reading and studying don’t appear to be important, but they are precisely the habits necessary to have balance.

5.  Leave work at work and don’t let your office responsibilities interfere with your personal relationships at home or physical well-being. Make it a habit to park your car for a few minutes before you enter your house to reflect on how lucky you are and the person you want to be when you greet your family. Reading your mission statement, a short meditation or affirmation will also help to keep you in the moment. For example, “I acknowledge the work it has taken to prepare for my arrival and I will show sincere and heartfelt appreciation.” 

6. Stay INTENSELY focused! We waste so much time aimlessly going over past mistakes and future possibilities. Your mind can’t be in the moment and in the past or future at the same time. Planning and performing mental activities is not the same as daydreaming about past events or future possibilities.

7. Release yourself from attachments. Realize that most of the time your thinking has to do with aimless thoughts, and when you are balanced, happiness is a natural manifestation. So, when you are constantly upset it is impossible to focus completely on the moment at hand. In ancient times, the samurai would try and accept death. They could not become concerned if they lived or died. They believed that during battle, the moment they became worried about death they would lose the fight. What greater detachment can exist than the attachment to living?

8. Learn to say “no” to others, but especially to yourself. Once you have written down your mission statement, you can become aware of all the non-productive things you do that waste time and sabotage the balance you say you want. Say “no” to yourself when you want to open an e-mail that has nothing to do with your goals. Say “no” when you start to remember something from the past and try to figure out why he or she did that horrible thing to you or what you could have done differently. Say “no” when you want to pick up the phone to gossip with a friend when you know you are on a schedule.

 
We all try, and fail often, balancing our work and social responsibilities. It is because we haven’t taken the time to truly know what our purpose in life is. Attaining that balanced scale of all aspects of our life is an art that must be consciously cultivated over time. Balance is an inner, individual job where only you can define what is important to you and your unique purpose in life. Good luck with this goal and please be aware that it is not static, but will change over time.